A story I heard years ago about a man that committed suicide has stuck with me. I can't remember all of the details, but this man was in his thirties and was a husband and father. Everyone acknowledged that he had always struggled making a living, but those that knew him said that he was a good person and loved his family. The thing that haunted his friend and family--and what has stayed with me for these years--is a statement in a letter he left before he took his life. It said, "I am tired of being a disappointment."
The irony is that his greatest act of "being a disappointment" came when he made the choice to end his life.
I wonder how many people carry the same feeling? I wonder how many people contemplate suicide because of the same or similar feelings?
I know for a fact that many people carry this pain. I have worked for a drug rehab program and have pastored a church and have worked with many people down on their luck or are reaping the fruit of bad decisions. Feeling that they are a disappointment to others and letting family and friends down is a common emotion that many carry.
Where does feeling that you are a disappointment to others come from?
- It may come from the words or actions of others. They may have been told directly they are a disappointment.
- It probably means they are disappointed in themselves for not living up to their and other's expectations.
- It may come from unfulfilled hopes and dreams.
- It may be compounded by other issues like health or financial problems.
- It may reach its head if hope is lost.
How do you help someone that may feel like they are a disappointment?
First, they must know that your love for them is not dependent on what they do for you. Your love for them should outweigh any disappointment--real or imagined--that the person feels.
Second, empower them by giving them support. They may need a little help but don't want to ask or be a burden.
Third, shine a light on hope if hope seems to be fading in their lives. Hope is infectious. Hope is saying, "I know that it hurts now, but the pain will go away."
Never give up; Never give in; Trust in God always!
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