Pain of Being a Disappointment

 

A story I heard years ago about a man that committed suicide has stuck with me. I can't remember all of the details, but this man was in his thirties and was a husband and father. Everyone acknowledged that he had always struggled making a living, but those that knew him said that he was a good person and loved his family. The thing that haunted his friend and family--and what has stayed with me for these years--is a statement in a letter he left before he took his life. It said, "I am tired of being a disappointment."

 

The irony is that his greatest act of "being a disappointment" came when he made the choice to end his life.

 

I wonder how many people carry the same feeling? I wonder how many people contemplate suicide because of the same or similar feelings?

 

I know for a fact that many people carry this pain. I have worked for a drug rehab program and have pastored a church and have worked with many people down on their luck or are reaping the fruit of bad decisions. Feeling that they are a disappointment to others and letting family and friends down is a common emotion that many carry.

 

Where does feeling that you are a disappointment to others come from?

• It may come from the words or actions of others. They may have been told directly they are a disappointment.
• It probably means they are disappointed in themselves for not living up to their and other's expectations.
• It may come from unfulfilled hopes and dreams.
• It may be compounded by other issues like health or financial problems.
• It may reach its head if hope is lost.

How do you help someone that may feel like they are a disappointment?

 

First, they must know that your love for them is not dependent on what they do for you. Your love for them should outweigh any disappointment--real or imagined--that the person feels.

 

Second, empower them by giving them support. They may need a little help but don't want to ask or be a burden.

 

Third, shine a light on hope if hope seems to be fading in their lives. Hope is infectious. Hope is saying, "I know that it hurts now, but the pain will go away."

 

Never give up; Never give in; Trust in God always!

 

 

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The Pain of Having Nothing

 

Recently I watched a documentary about a college football player named Maurice. He was a naturally gifted player that everyone expected to go on to have a successful career in the NFL. Through a series of events--some of his own and some just unfortunate circumstances--he lost his college eligibility to play football. He wanted to join the NFL draft, but the rules at that time stated that he had to be three years removed from high school to enter the draft and he was only one year out. He had to wait two years for his chance. During those two years, he turned to alcohol and other bad behaviors. When he did get his chance to play professional football, he was not in well enough shape to make a very big impact.

 

The documentary described his motivation for desiring to succeed in football in college and then the pros. He said, "The pain of having nothing drove me." It has been a week since watching the documentary, but those words have stuck in my mind. There is a powerful lesson in those words.

 

First, there is an actual pain that accompanies 'having nothing'. I have been fortunate in life, but I have had periods in my life where I literally went to the store with $35 to by groceries for the next week. I have had to borrow money for gas so that I could get to work. Living in lack is painful especially when surrounded by people with plenty. There are hundreds of people around us each day that are experiencing the pain of having nothing.

 

Second, 'having nothing' gives people a sense of powerlessness. When people feel powerless, they can become resentful and angry, thy can feel depressed and suicidal, and these feelings can effect their behavior. I theorize that many mass and spree killings are in part due to feelings of powerlessness. My motivation in life is to see people gain more power in their lives so that they can live fulfilled and successful lives. Since 2009, I have been studying power and powerlessness. In 2014, I started a nonprofit organization (Dunamis Empowerment Foundation). The purpose of Dunamis is to promote the empowerment of others.

 

Third, having nothing either motivates or debilitates. I would love to say that feelings of powerlessness motivates a person to do better and pursue excellence, but from my perspective it often makes a person give up or turn to unlawful or immoral behaviors.

 

This is a social problem. When large segments of a society feels powerless, they turn to illegal acts to "get more stuff" and to "take power" the only way they know how. Some might say that economic redistribution is the answer. However, taking from those that have and giving it to those who do not have never works. It "angers" the haves and makes the "have nots" feel entitled to their resources.

 

The solution for the pain of having nothing is empowerment. We must empower others so that they can have the power they need to be successful.

 

This is the message that I want the world to hear. We must all empower others. Society depends upon empowering others and I believe that it is God's design that we empower others.

 

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Empowerment and Motivation

How you are motivated can determine how you are empowered.

 

Three Ways to Simplify Your Life



People often get overwhelmed in life. Have you tried to cut back to make life manageable? We get more and more things, then we need more money to maintain everything in our lives. We have become dependent upon electronics and smart phones.  We are in constant communication with everyone and life seems to get more complicated and confusing.

 

Isn't it time that we simplify our lives?

 

I think so...you can empower yourself by reexamining your life, strengthening the essentials, and eliminating the waste in your lives.

 

I am in a season of life where there are simply too many things that I would like to do, but don't have the time. So I have been thinking a lot lately about how I could simplify my life and be happier and feel better about my life.

 

There are three things that will make a person's life simpler and more fulfilling. Actually, I came up with a lot more than three, but realized that I could easily make things more complicated in an effort to simplify life. (Life is full of ironies like that.) I examined all of the things that I had listed and took the three things that I feel will make our lives more fulfilling and they all begin with a realistic examination of our lives.

 

We must honestly evaluate everything that we do and be willing to make the adjustments necessary to make our lives better. I recently saw a definition of discipline and have used this definition many times.

 

DISCIPLINE 

is

choosing between

what I want most

 &

what I want now.

 

I love this definition because it sums up our lives well. We may want washboard abs, but are we willing to diet and exercise to get them. I believe that we all have ability to be healthy and fit if we are willing to do what is necessary.

 

Three things that will help us to simplify our lives and become more satisfied:

 

1. Determine what thing or two is most essential for personal growth and do them every day.

 

If you are not developing personally or professionally, you are declining. Ask yourself what are the most important things that I should do everyday that will help me become the person that I want to be? Things like exercise, Bible reading, praying, mediation, listening to sermons or development experts, or blogging. Make these things a priority and do them daily.

 

"If everything is a priority, then nothing is a priority."

 

2. List all of your daily activities, then label them as:

1. Essential
2. Useful
3. Enjoyable
4. Wasteful

Then focus on the essential and eliminate the wasteful.

 

Obviously, the things that essential and useful should be prioritized and strengthened. We should examine those things that are enjoyable--like watching TV for two hours every evening--and determine if we should exchange that activity for a more useful one.

 

But the thing here is to identify and eliminate those things that are wasteful in our lives.

 

3. Eliminate dead weight (i.e. things that hinder us).

 

We have all seen the movies where items were thrown out of a plane or over the side of a ship to lighten the load to prevent a horrible tragedy. Americans want to live outside of our means. I saw a movie years ago where a couple crash landed on a island. They had to walk to the other side of the island so that they could be saved. When the couple started out, the woman insisted that they carry her bags. By the time they reached the other side of the island, they had discarded all unnecessary weight. Her priorities had changed. Things that seemed important actually were hindrances.

 

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Upgrading Your "Life Vehicle"

 

 

You may be satisfied with your life as it is right now, but I have suspicions that there are things that you still want out of life. We should always be looking for ways to advance our situation in life, and to help others advance in their lives. Our life "vehicle" has brought us to where we are, and will take us further.

 

Your vehicle should be equipped to take you to the next level in life!

 

"Vehicle" comes from the Latin vehiculum (a means of transport) which is derived from vehere (to carry). The dictionary meaning is 1) a thing used for transporting people or goods, or 2) a thing used to express, embody, or fulfill something. We each have a "vehicle" that takes us to where we want to be in life, but everybody's vehicle is different.

 

The "vehicle" that takes us to where we want to be in life is our knowledge, skills, and abilities. Some of us have great and reliable vehicles that takes us to places we want to go, however we should always be upgrading. Because life is a journey, it is as much about the vehicle as it is about the road or the destination. Even if your vehicle is adequate for now, we should not be satisfied.

 

You should always be upgrading your knowledge. It is often said that knowledge is power. Every job, career, organization, or discipline has information that is unique. A person that goes to work for Alltel may be a RF engineer and know everything about wireless communication, but still has to learn information that is unique to Alltel. A young man was hired as a leasing coordinator for a company. He worked in a pool of other leasing coordinators, but while the other coordinators did their jobs and earned a paycheck. This young man began to learn how the company as a whole worked and soon became a project manager because he gained the knowledge about the company the other lease coordinators did not.

 

My daughter works for a restaurant chain. Not being satisfied with just earning a check and because she has an inquisitive mind, she determine that she wanted to know everything about the restaurant chain. As a result of her gaining more knowledge and showing her dependability, she has become a manager and goes to other restaurant grand openings to assist. She is on her way to having her own restaurant--and she is only twenty years old.

 

Upgrade your knowledge and become an expert in an area that is vital for the company success or can become a marketable asset. Become the "go to" person in that area.

 

As you upgrade your knowledge, upgrade your skills also. A skill is a combination of abilities, techniques, and knowledge that makes a person do tasks at a higher degree or standard. Skills are primarily learned behavior. We attend college, trade schools, or take on internships to gain the skills needed to advance our careers. Skills come from putting knowledge into action. Knowledge that it not followed up by action is useless.

The third upgrade should be to your ability. Ability is the generic make up of a person that is generally inherited. Abilities are either cognitive or physical and everybody has an inherent level of abilities. Ability is part of a person's overall make up that includes personality, intelligence, and emotions. However, abilities can improve or diminish. 

 

Knowledge, skills, and abilities work together. An athlete may be big and be able to run very fast, but that ability will not make him a football player. The athlete must gain football knowledge. Being big, able to run, and having football knowledge still does not make that person a running back. Skill comes when a person's ability is combined with knowledge and put into action. This continual action produces skill.

 

This combination of knowledge, ability, and skill is the vehicle that will take you toward your destiny.

Coaching Questions:

1. Are you satisfied with your level of knowledge, abilities, and skills and are they able to take you to the next level?

2. Which is your greatest strength?

-Knowledge
-Abilities
-Skills

3. What is your greatest weakness

-Knowledge
-Abilities
-Skills

4. Which of these three need the biggest upgrade?

5. When and how will you start this upgrade?


 

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Have you considered getting a coach?

 

Coaches can help you identify your next level and work to achieve it.

 

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Declining Churches Need Empowered Members

The young shepherd boy, David, went to battle against the giant enemy. David took charge of the battle and did not wait for the generals to sound the charge.

When Christians begin looking around it appears that Satan, our enemy, is winning the war. He has certainly won many of the battles.

 

Why does it look like the enemy is winning on many fronts? Doesn't the Bible declare the Church victorious? Why has the church reached a plateau and started to decline?

 

To be fair, not all churches are declining, however, most of the churches that are growing are getting bigger at the expense of other churches--transfer growth is not growth. When we begin to realize this, we will all be more motivated to do something about it. Many pastor's whose churches start syphoning off others members use the excuse, "Its not my fault that they prefer go to my church than their old one." I have heard pastor's us the phrase unchurched or under-churched to describe people that may attend a church, but are not fully engaged into the body and mission of the church. The truth is, it is just easier to attract Christians to church than non-Christians. If non-Christians were easy to reach, then all churches would be growing.

Psychologists have a term for when a person has conflicting values and try to reconcile them--cognitive dissidence. The conflict that pastor's have is that in their heart they do not like the notion that they are stealing members from other churches, but they also want to grow a church and more members means more resources. They are seduced by the thought that they are preferred to the others. It plays into their pride. They say to themselves that when my church grows large enough, then I will have the resources we need to evangelize.

Back to my question--why are churches declining?

 

I want to make several observations from my experience, from what the Christian leadership literature says, and from personal discussions with pastors and church members.

 

1. Churches decline because they have lost their ability to impact their community.

 

Many churches are not impacting their community and don't seem to know how to make a difference in the lives of the community. This is a leadership problem. In my opinion, one of the problems is that most of our churches are led by men whose primary gift is pastor. If a church is led by a man whose primary gift is pastor, they should surround themselves with men with other gifts. Pastors whose churches are growing have done this either on purpose or by accident. We need church leaders with strategic insight that can target and impact their communities, many pastors lack this strategic ability or are too busy shepherding the flock. The lead person (usually called pastor) must put together a team of gifted individuals to lead the church.

2. Churches decline because we are not training leaders that can impact their communities within their areas of gifting.

For all of the literature and discussion on Ephesians 4:11-13, it seems few churches are actually good at it. The current teaching says that the apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher are given to the church to train workers to build up the body of Christ. If this teaching is correct, I know of only a handful of churches in my community that does it well. If those with the gift of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher cannot impact their community, how then can we expect those that they train to do much better?

Am I saying that we should never change churches?

Glad you asked...that is NOT what I am saying.

Assuming that the doctrine of the church you are attending is acceptable to you and there are not obvious signs of heresy, discord, or immorality, then you should stay and make a difference. "I am not being fed," is the most common excuse that I hear for a Christian to change churches. When I hear that, I really hear, "I am not satisfied at this church and this is the only excuse that puts the blame on the church and not my dissatisfaction."

The only good excuse for changing churches is for an opportunity to use your gifts for the glory of God. Some churches have enough people with your gift that you may not have a place to be used. If that is the case, there are many churches that need mature Christians that know what their gifts are and how to use them--go there, they would love to have you.

What is the Lord saying now?

Don't wait for the generals (church leaders) to lead you into battle. Be like David and take the fight to the giant.

Empowerment, Innovation, and Sliced Bread

Organizations must learn how to change to respond to the world as it is in the Twenty-first Century. The world is rapidly changing and organizations must adapt or innovate to this change. Adaptation is making adjustments to existing practices for improvement. Innovation on the other hand tends to look for future trends and make preemptive changes to grow their customer base. The hope is that these improvements will meet the expectation of the consumer. Innovators often create things that customers didn't even know they needed. No one knew that they needed a device to store and play their digital music until Apple develop the Ipod. They created a solution to a need, before the need even existed.

Innovation is empowering!

 

Innovation comes from a person's creativity or their ability to create. Although most organizations do not encourage their employees to create, every employee should be able to offer creative solutions to their companies that make their jobs easier and faster, satisfy the customer, or bring in more revenue to the company. Many organizations have seen the benefits of encouraging creativity and have developed programs and have started to establish a culture of creativity. Creativity and innovation is the key for organizational success in the modern world.

Apply this to the church

 

For a few years now, I have been studying change. I have seen many churches struggling to grow in today's world, while other churches seem to be thriving. Many researchers have studied this phenomenon and have written many good books on the  subject. The facts speak for themselves. The majority of growing churches are less than twenty years old. Many of the large archetype mega-churches, although have a very large weekly attendance, have leveled off. Many mega-churches that are making a difference and seem to keep growing have adopted the multi-site paradigm. Meanwhile, every church is faced with change. The simple fact of the matter: every established organization, church or otherwise, must change with the times or continue their decline.

That leads to my other interest; understanding why some churches struggle to change and others don't seem to? We all can agree that change is inevitable. Looking in the mirror each day and watching our children grow up tells us that life is always moving forward and that everything changes. As it turns out, this is a very complex question and not easily answered. It is safe to say that I will not be able to answer the question in one blog. However, I have one observation that will help.

Churches must innovate. I heard one church health expert say that churches must adapt or die. This is true, but I am suggesting that churches should not merely adapt, they should innovate. The definition of adapt is to become adjusted to new conditions. The definition of innovate is to make changes in something established, especially by introducing new methods, ideas, or products.  You might be thinking that they sound the same. However, there is a nuanced difference between the two concepts of change.

First, adaptation is doing thing differently to solve the problem. For example, a church that has leveled off starts to decline. All the church leaders and members notice the drop off in attendance and offerings. They begin looking for something or someone to blame. All of the usual suspects are named--economy, possible conflict, the non-denominational churches that have lured many away, spiritual warfare has been waged against them, the location of the church, the state of their facilities--the list goes on. The next obvious step is to look at the churches nearby that seem to be growing and learn from them. Established churches cannot change their core values or their doctrine, but they can change other things that seem to attract people, so they begin adapting according to what "seems to be working" in other churches. They change worship style, they begin small groups, they start a children's ministry in the park, or change their name with the hopes of reversing the declining trend.

 

Many of the adaptive changes some churches undertake do not make considerable differences. I can list over twenty churches that I know of personally that have undertaken adaptive changes with minimal results. They instead should be innovative and look for different ways to accomplish their mission in creative ways. Churches that adapt, see the their problem as losing members, but their real problem is what it always has been--reaching the lost and ministering to the hurting, and discipling new converts. The reason that the church was founded is the same today as it was then. The solution is to find creative ways to accomplish their mission.

 

One innovative church in New Mexico found a creative way to reach people in their community especially the youth. They started a nonprofit organization. The purpose of the nonprofit was to help stop unwanted teen pregnancy in their community by promoting abstinence. This message was one that they could take into the High Schools and Community College. The nonprofit was awarded a grant to purchase a truck that the bed raised up into a rock climbing wall. They would set this truck up at parks, local events, fairs, and anywhere youth would assemble. All events were co-sponsored by the church and all of the workers at the events would wear shirts with the church name and logo. Depending upon the venue, they passed out tracks, shared their faith, and invited them to church. Since the nonprofit was its own entity, they did not receive money from the church and had the ability to raise their own funds. If memory served me, the nonprofit eventually paid the salary for the youth pastor who served as the Director of the nonprofit also.

This church didn't adapt, it found an innovative solution to accomplish its mission. It didn't just find a new way to slice bread, it found an alternative to sliced bread. 

Do you have a story of how a church found an innovative way to accomplish their mission? I what to hear about it!

Please submit the story below.....

 

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Empower Your Dreams

 

Do you know what it takes for you to be able to achieve the dreams that you have for your life?

 

A fact of reality that comes with getting older, is looking back at our lives and seeing the things that we wanted to accomplish go unfulfilled. Sure, some of the things we wanted to do were out of our control and sometimes doors that we wanted to open remained shut. Reasons for unopened doors often remain hidden to our understanding. I also look back at opportunities I let go by and wonder. I wanted to be a foreign missionary. I had an opportunity in my twenties to work for Teen Challenge in Germany--I turned it down. Maybe I should have looked at that opportunity more closely. I was also asked to start a church in West Texas, but didn't feel ready for the task at the time. I wonder where I would be today if I had chosen another path. I choose, however, to dwell upon the things in life that I have accomplished. I can honestly say that, although I look back and wonder about paths not taken, I have no regrets and I love the place in which God has placed me.

 

I have more dreams I will accomplish in the near future and know that there are five things that will get me there.

 

1. Determination

 

Our plans for the future should be directed by God. God directs our plans if we allow Him. Once we have a direction from God, we should follow that path with determination. Often the paths that we believe God is directing stops or changes direction. These unexpected changes are usually from God. He seldom gives us the whole picture and usually the way that we envision the future seldom comes true in the exact form we imagined. We may dream of teaching in a University,  but God may have us teaching a small group on Thursday nights. We may have dreams of writing the greatest novel in the twenty-first century, but can only manage a weekly blog. I watched a video of a couple that felt from the beginning of their relationship that they were going to have a daughter and that her name would be Chloe. After years and years of trying to have children, they only had heartache. After they decided to adopt, they found that the mother of the girl they were going to adopt wanted to name her Chloe. They had thought that they would give birth to Chloe, but realized that God had different plans. We may have dreamed of marrying Veronica, but ended up married to Betty. The circumstances of the dream God gives us may change, but the essence of the dream remains in tact--having a child, having a spouse, teaching, being a missionary, etc. We need to be determined in seeing the dream God has given use come true and not necessarily the circumstances as we planned them.

 

2. Responsibility

 

Our life is our responsibility. This includes our dreams. Our life is not the responsibility of our parents, our families, our friends, our spouses, or even God. It is ours. Self-leadership and self-management are vital keys for realizing dreams. They are defined as having the ability to lead and manage yourself. Leading and managing your life means taking responsibility. If we have gotten off of track, it is important to understand that we can do little to change past decisions. However, we can repair damage that may have been done, mend or heal our current situations, and plan our future decisions. Important to self-leadership and management is making informed decisions. That brings us to the third thing.

 

3. Education

 

Education is defined as the process of receiving systematic instruction, but it is also defined as having an enlightened experience. Regardless of what your dream is, there is a level of knowledge and understanding that is needed. The old adage says that knowledge is power. In our pursuit of this power, look for mentors. Look for someone who is or was where you want to be and ask them to mentor you. I cannot stress this enough. One of the great failures of not accomplishing our dreams is not having good mentors. Many people who are qualified, do not place themselves in the position of mentoring others. When they do, they often choose others and may not think of mentoring you. That is when we need twenty seconds of insane courage to approach that individual and ask them to mentor us. If they say no or they don't have the time, don't take it personally. They can still mentor you by observation. Each boss or supervisor that I have had were my mentors. I observed them and asked questions and learned from each of them. Although I didn't always have an official mentoring relationship, they were all my mentors.

 

4. Attitude

I will never forget. I was walking down the hallway of a hospital and passed a man pushing himself in a wheelchair. The man had on a t-shirt that said, "Attitude is everything." It was clear that this man's ability to deal with his handicap was because of his attitude. The difference between this man's life and the life of someone that has lost the use of their legs and gives up on life is in their attitude. The attitude in which we approach life determines not only the destination, but also how smooth the ride getting there will be. People whose attitude is right are successful. People whose attitudes are informed by faith, trust, and belief in God are unstoppable.

5. Motivation

Motivation explains why we do the things we do. This is important. We need to have the proper motivation that will put us in a situation to accomplish our dreams. Those of us that have college degrees have them because we were motivated enough to endure everything that is required to get that diploma. Accomplishing our dreams directly relates to the motivation to accomplish that dream. The right motivation supplants every force bent on stopping our dream. Psychologist talk about intrinsic and extrinsic motivational forces. A person that is intrinsically motivated is motivated from within themselves. They have an inner desire for accomplishment. A person, on the other hand, that is extrinsically motivated gets their motivation from external forces--a paycheck, the threat of punishment, fear of being fired, or that large bonus for a job well done. Both motivational forces are legitimate. Sports athletes are internally motivated to succeed, but often need that coach in their face to insure they are doing their best. I will suggest a third kind of motivation; God-motivation. Every Christian, regardless of internal or external motivation, should be motivated by God. He is the one who designed us and knows for what we are best suited. God sent the Holy Spirit to live in us and guide us. We should be motivated by His Word and by His Spirit.

These five things can help us achieve our dreams.

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Will you do me a favor?

I feel that there are many people that need some encouragement. Some people have lost sight of their dreams and God's plans for them seem far away to them. I feel that God wants us to encourage them. GOD IS NOT THROUGH WITH ANY OF US YET.

 

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Zinzendorf and Divine Empowerment

Count Zinzendorf was divinely empowered when he connected with God. He spent his entire life connecting others to God. He serves as a great example for all who desire to see others divinely empowered.

Count Nicolaus Ludwigvon Zinzendorf is a hero of mine. Not only was this very unusual man a gifted writer of hymns, but he was also an ardent exponent of foreign missions.

 

Zinzendorf was only ten years old when his soul was fired with a passionate desire to do something to help win the world for Christ. He was a pupil at the Pietist school of at Halle, Germany. At the time, and through his efforts a mission society known as “The Order of the Grain of Mustard Seed,” was organized among the lads of his own age.

 

A few years later he viewed a copy of Sternberg’s masterpiece, “Ecce Homo,” depicting Christ wearing His crown of thorns before Pilate and the Jewish mob. Beneath the famous picture were inscribed the words:

This have I done for thee; What hast thou done for Me?   From that moment Zinzendorf took as his life motto: “I have but one passion, and that is He and only He.” On his wedding day, in 1722, he and his young bride decided to renounce their rank and to dedicate their lives to the task of winning souls for Christ.   I am glad that the zeal to experience the Lord's presence is growing, but it seems like the zeal for evangelism is not. I invite you to follow my blog and share my passion for the church and ministry.

HOW TO BE MORE EFFECTIVE AND FULFILLED

 

 Do the little things in life keep you in the ruts?

 

Learning how to prioritize work or house tasks and accomplish them can help us be more effective and more fulfilled.

1. Prioritize the things you need to do.
 

Every task has a level of urgency and importance. There are four possible combinations. Understanding this will help us to prioritize the things we must get done.

 

• Not important, not urgent
• Not important, urgent
• Important, not urgent
• Important, urgent

2. Just start...do not procrastinate.

 

Sometimes the best thing to do is to just get started.

3. Learn the art of self-motivation.

 

Do not wait for your boss to motivate you into action; you may not like how it is done. If you are self-employed or do not have direct supervision, the ability to motivate yourself is a must. Give yourself rewards for accomplishing tasks. When facing decisions about what you need to do, ask yourself what will give you the greatest sense of satisfaction or relief when it is done--then do it.

4. Focus on what you are doing and stay on task.

 

Plan ahead to eliminate known distractions.

5. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

It is better to finish well with a little help than it is to not finish on you own.

 

6. Be accountable.

 

Individuals that can work well without someone to be accountable to are rare.

 

There are many more elements that help us get things done, but these six have helped me finish many projects.

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HOPE IS THE RUNWAY OF FAITH

 

Tree Through the Seasons

 

When we gaze upon the winter's tree with branches barren of leaf, do we worry that the leaves might not return in spring? 

 

I hardly think so.

 

Even the weakest of the brethren do not have such impotent faith.

 

Why then, do we believers fear that God's promises will not be upheld after the temporary season?

 

Are we not God's children?

 

Does He not want the best for us?

 

Our hearts affirm the answer; it is yes and always.

 

Let us always be steadfast in faith standing firm on the promises of God.

 

The faith of the righteous is assured.

 

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May God Bless You!

Tips to Become a More FIT Church Leader

I have proposed that the term CHURCH FITNESS is a better descriptor than CHURCH HEALTH to describe the state in which we desire to see the church.

(See my article in Churchleaders.com)

A FIT CHURCH must have a FIT PASTOR, but we often see pastors that are stressed and over worked. This is especially true with pastors of churches that have leveled off or are in decline. It is very important for these pastors to be fit and strong.

Fitness has been defined as a set of attributes that people have or achieve that relates to the ability to perform physical activity or the body's ability to function efficiently and effectively in work and leisure activities. Exercise is the primary method for a person to achieve fitness.

Applying this idea to the church as a body, I have defined CHURCH FITNESS as having the life-giving breath of God in its members with the ability of each member to function together effectively toward the fulfillment of its unique God-given mission.

For a church to become FIT, it is necessary for each member to become fit--especially the church leaders. The following activities done daily will increase strength, contribute to the fitness of the whole person, and ultimately increase the effectiveness of the church leader.

1. Do a daily physical activity such as a brisk walk.

2. Do a brain exercise, such as counting to 100, then counting backwards from 100 to 1.

3. Have a positive emotional moment each day by watching an inspirational video or looking a pictures of loved ones.

4. Engage people everyday that you do not already know and shake their hands.

5. Raise your hands and worship God for a period of time each day.

These activities may seem random, but there is an explanation for each one. Exercise is an essential activity for a person to become FIT. When a person exercises, their muscles are strengthened, the ability of the heart to bring the vital oxygen to the rest of the body grows, and the whole body increases its ability to function properly. But physical muscles are not the only areas of a person that needs daily exercise. There are five "muscles" of the body. They are physical muscle, cognitive muscle, emotional muscle, social muscle, and spiritual muscle. Positive activity in each area will strengthen the leaders and give them strength to bring their church into health and fitness.

Activity in each area should be processed through what I call the Philippians 4:8 filter. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." Therefore, truth, honor, righteousness, purity, loveliness, good repute, excellence, and praise are the standard to which all activities are held.

The first way to become a better church leader is to exercise their physical body.

Engaging in any physical activity increases fitness. Many studies have shown that physical activity helps the body in many positive ways including the prevention of insulin, it reduces the risk of cognitive decline, lowers the risk of strokes, boosts the immune system, and heightens the ability to fight off illnesses such as colds and flu. An inactive lifestyle increases the changes of colon and breast cancer, heart attacks, increases the loss of lean muscle, increased bone loss, increases the feelings of depression and makes weight gain more likely. Many hard working pastors do not have the time or the inclination to exercise daily. However, studies have shown that any amount of physical activity positively affects the body. Find a physical activity that can fit into your daily routine. Something as simple as walking around the block or your building will reap many positive results.

The second way to become a better church leaders is to exercise your brain.

Researchers have done many studies that indicating the legitimacy of brain exercise and its benefits. Brain exercise has been linked to faster thinking, better memory, greater focus, creativity, better listening, and even a better mood. A simple daily activity like counting to 100 and back again to 1, helps focus the brain and builds will power by accomplishing a repetitive task like counting. Besides this activity, there are many brain exercises which bring results. One researcher suggests practicing "mindfulness". Mindfullness is actively paying attention to your immediate surroundings as though you are experiencing it for the first time. Mindfullness helps the brain to process information through all of your senses--how things look, how they sound, how they smell, how they fool. Exercising your brain daily will help you become a better leader.

The third way to become a better church leader is to exercise your emotions.

Pastoring a church, or church work in general, can be very emotional. It is critically, important for the leadership of a church to maintain a positive emotional outlook. Finding an activity such as viewing an emotionally inspiring video, looking through a family photo album or other memorabilia  that brings positive emotional feelings helps the mind, body, and spirit feel better. As human beings, we are emotionally affected by different things. It is important that we have daily positive emotional stimuli and exercise our emotional muscle.

The fourth way to become a better church leader is to interact with people, especially those that we do not know well.

Imagine the impact it might have upon your life and the life of your church if you shook the hand of a stranger every day. This action would necessarily require social interaction with the community each day. This activity exercises the social muscle of the body. Human beings are social beings. Even introverts seek social interaction. I fear that the proliferation of social media on the internet has decreased meaningful face-to-face social interaction. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram makes us feel connected to celebrities and people that we will never meet. We know more about people, but do we really "know" them? There is nothing that can replace the physical connection we have when we shake someone's hand. The face-to-face interaction required by hand-shaking is one of the most effective ways to exercise social muscle.

The fifth way to become a better church leader is to spend dedicated time worshipping God.

The apostle Paul tells us one of the reasons that God's wrath will be poured out on the wicked is that they have exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshipped and served created beings rather than the Creator (Romans 1:25). Humans are designed to worship God their creator. The most significant thing we can do as Christians on a daily basis is to worship God. To tell the truth, without worshipping God, everything else seems futile. Worship is exercising spiritual muscle. Other spiritual disciplines are important for spiritual growth, but none are as important as worshipping God.

Exercising our physical, cognitive, emotional, social, and spiritual muscles are the keys to holistic personal fitness.

CHURCH FITNESS relies upon fit leaders.

I want to hear from you. Please leave a comment below about your thoughts on this post or on CHURCH FITNESS in general.

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How to Live With No Regrets

The last thing that we want is to look back over our lives and regret the way that we lived our lives. Bucket lists have become very popular. There are many things that we all would love to do and places that we would like to see, but there never seems to be enough time or money. However, our lives are much more than a collection of experiences. A recent Hospice report lists the five most common regrets from people who are dying.

They are:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

We are told to dream big, set goals, and succeed in life and many of us (especially males) are driven to do this. What is not always realized-and what the dying know-is that we often lose sight of what is really important and exchange what we aspire to for what is expected.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

This is one of the most common regrets among men hospice patients. I am sure that these individuals would not suggest that working hard is not important, but my interpretation of this is that we need to balance our work with other important aspects of life. Men too often sacrifice spending time with their family for the sake of work. Let us not make this mistake.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

As I contemplate this regret, I am mindful of all of the people that have touched my life that probably don't know what they mean to me.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

The popularity of social media has made contacting friends and acquaintances from the past much easier; do not neglect this mean of staying in touch

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I realized some time ago that happiness is a choice. Do not make the mistake of NOT choosing to be happy.

What is NOT listed is as revealing as what IS listed. Notice that specific places and experience do not seem as important to people coming close to the end of their lives.

It is often said that hind-site is 20/20. Looking back is always easier and clearer than looking forward and we cannot change our past, but we can influence our future.

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